When I was in college I got a job working as a lifeguard on a private beach. It was a pretty good gig, I basically watched a beach for a bunch of really rich folk, and with the exception of one guy the longest anyone ever stayed there was a week.  I think they liked the idea of seclusion, the fact they could brag to their rich buddies that they had this place but they don’t really like to stay there. Martha’s Vineyard or the Hampton’s we weren’t

The first time I saw him was a couple of months after I’d started working at the beach, fall was just turning into winter so the place was even more deserted than usual. With his distinctive pale bald scalp it was obvious to me who he was – Lex Luthor, only son of billionaire magnate Lionel Luthor. Heir to one of the largest fortunes in the world.

He was sitting out on his deck with a cell phone, laptop and bottle of that fancy water. His phone was ringing but he ignored it choosing instead to watch the waves from the Atlantic Ocean crashing on to the shore. I remember it because you didn’t hear too many man-made noises round there.

I got paid extra to check the houses; he finally answered the phone as I was checking the house next to him. “Luthor. It’s doesn’t matter…what? So you can lie to me some more…I want all your things gone by the time I get back. Leave your keys with security on the way out.” He snapped his phone shut disconnecting whoever was at the other end. Sounded like he’d just broken up with someone, which I found interesting at the time, as the papers had been remarkably silent about his private life. After three divorces and numerous girlfriends in the past few years it was very unusual for the papers not to be reporting on his private life. Immediately the phone rang again. “Clark, I’m changing this…Dad. Yes I’ll be there. I haven’t forgotten. If you must know we’ve parted company. Although I suspect you already knew that. Save your sympathies for someone who gives a damn. I’ll see you tomorrow Dad. With that he snapped his phone shut, gathered his things and went into his house.

He stayed almost six months at the beach house, leaving early each morning and returning late at night. I was stalking him I guess but the beach saw so little of the owners that it was easy to keep track of the comings and goings of the few residents. There were three lifeguards and two night security guards, two-day security guards. We would all swap stories about the owners, save little titbits. One day I passed the house and saw it all locked up. Jim one of the day security guards had seen a team of LuthorCorp cleaners go into the house then they boarded it up when they left. A couple of days later I saw in the paper that Lex Luthor had been appointed as LuthorCorp CEO. Luthor senior was remaining as chairman of the board. LexCorp was being amalgamated into LuthorCorp but would keep trading under its name. A couple of weeks after that I saw a marriage announcement for Lex Luthor. We didn’t see him again until the winter.

He was in and out of the papers after that, with marriages, divorces, affairs, and attempted coups. He also seemed to be on Superman’s shit list.  I remember thinking that it was lucky he was a billionaire with the amount of money he must be spending on property damage and alimony. Although it might not be much as expected because all of his wives tried to kill him.

I remember one day a couple of years later he was having a heated argument on the phone or so I thought. This must have been just after divorce number six. Then I heard another voice, as I walked by and caught a glimpse of a tall dark haired guy standing in front of the doors with Lex Luthor. That surprised me, as Luthor had been alone when he arrived the previous evening, or so the beach grapevine had suggested. The beach wasn’t accessible except by the main path unless you had a boat. There were no boats in view and no visitors on the list. So it was a mystery how the guy had got in. I made a point of making an extra sweep of the beach but I couldn’t figure out how the guy had got in.

“Lex…please give us a chance.”

“I gave you a chance Clark, you threw it back in my face. I think you should leave now. Please don’t come back here again.” I moved quickly it wouldn’t do if I was caught listening. I filed the information away as something to tell the guys. We never did figure out how the dark haired guy got in.

As I walked past Lex Luthor’s place the following winter I heard a male voice singing “Hush little baby don’t you cry papa’s gonna buy you a mocking bird.” I figured it must be him singing but there hadn’t been anything about him having a kid in the papers. He had married that Countessa chick so maybe it was their baby. We’d never seen any of his wives. He always came alone. The only person I saw him with was that Clark guy.

The next day he was out on deck holding a baby. “What do you want, Clark?”  He didn’t look up but just carried on rocking the baby. Yet again the guy just appeared out of thin air. It was kind of freaky, I turned away for a second and there he was.

“Can we talk?” Clark moved onto the deck, sticking his hands into the cheap suit.

“We have nothing to talk about.”

“Please Lex, I’m sorry,” Clark removed the awful glasses with thick black frames that covered half of his face. The guy seemed like such a nerd. Luthor looked up as he said that, staring at him.

“I’ve got something to tell you, something I should have told you a long time ago.” “You’ve got until she goes to sleep,” Luthor rose carefully as not to disturb the baby and turned back into the house. I could sense some undercurrents there, I didn’t understand though; Clark wasn’t exactly the type of guy that would move in the same circles as Luthor.

The following year I saw him early one morning with that Clark guy. They were kissing. I figured that explained why none of the wives lasted. That Clark guy turned out to be none other than Clark Kent of the Daily Planet. I found this out when he and Luthor were one of the first couples to marry after Congress legalized gay marriage. The papers were filled with rumours of him buying his marriage licence with the millions of dollars that found their way into the gay rights lobby in Washington. Nobody ever found anything directly linking him to it. So what if he did they’re still together twenty years after the last time I saw them. I still keep in touch with the guys at the beach and Luthor still heads out there for a month every winter. The only difference is Clark always goes with him.

End