Without a word, before Lex could even realize what had happened, Bruce was dropped with a resounding thud onto the cold balcony floor and Superman, dressed only in flannel pajama bottoms was gone too quickly for Lex to see his exit. Even though he knew what he would find, Lex ran frantically through the penthouse to Clark’s soundproofed room, where he found Willow dosing lightly in a chair pulled up by the bed. (Overcome)

You have to understand, I wasn't entirely sure when I first saw him, that he was, you know, who he was. I mean, the last thing you would ever expect to see in a dump like this is the boyfriend of like one of the – Hell. probably the richest guy in the country, because I saw this show on Trump once and they said how many times he's gone into bankruptcy and how he has like a bunch of smaller businesses… subsidies … they're called, or something like that. Subdairies. Subsidiaries? Yeah. It’s something like that. Well, anyway, that show said that trump had like a bunch of those that were in the red. Who'd even think something like that was even possible?

Well, you can be pretty sure that Luthor wouldn't screw around like that. Oh, I know his dad would have. That old man…well, he wasn't strictly right in the head… if you know what I mean. But, now his son. Lex Luthor, he's an entirely different story. He's … Okay, he's had some wild days – for sure. Hell, I wouldn't have met him if he hadn't. But, he did and I'm pretty glad he did, too.

I wouldn't be here, or anywhere else, if he hadn't… because one night, when he showed up at this little club I worked the sound system at, the place was like a rat’s hole, but it drew some of the muckety mucks because they liked the dangerous feel. And, the boss tried to play that up, by bringing in these big bruisers as bouncers and such.  Well, one of them, Frank, wasn’t really playing with a full deck, particularly when he’d get to drinking.  The man was way crazy then.

Well, as I was saying, Luthor was kind of a wild kid and probably did more stuff than a lot of the hard core partiers who were decades older, but he never lost control the way that a lot of them did. No. He never lost control regardless. I’m not saying that he didn’t get totally shit-faced like the rest of them. ‘Cause he did.  But, even when he was three sheets to the wind – he could always just sort of snap out of it, if and when he needed to. And, shit if he hadn’t, I’d be a strange stain on a really tacky carpet right now.

Like I was saying, this bouncer wasn’t strictly right in the head, to begin with, but when he got drunk, he was way worse.  And when he did drugs, shit, the man was a fuckin’maniac. So, like I was sayin’, one night, this guy I was talkin’ about, Frank, the bouncer, came in after breakin up with his girlfriend, who didn’t like it that he was hangin’ around the club. Well, she didn’t get how much he liked bein’ seen as a real tough guy or something, ‘cause she made some kind of crack about him hangin’ around the gay bar for ‘other reasons’ if you know what I mean.

Talk about pissed, Frank went ballistic, and ‘course had to come in that night with this big fuckin’ chip on his shoulder. And, course, just my luck, I had to be the first one he ran into. Literally, he just plowed me down and then got mad when he stubbed his toe on my head. An, Shit, if it didn’t feel like he cracked my head open when he did. Anyway, when he grabbed me up by my collar, there was Luthor. Well, ‘fore Frank could turn around and throw me, which I’m pretty sure he was gonna do, Luthor just came up and threw his arm around me, laughin’.

“Jush whooo I washhh luukin for…” he said all drunk-like, but he wasn’t a bit drunk though, just smart. An, Frank just stared at him – knowin’ who he was, ‘cause everybody knew who the Luthors were, particularly the son. Frank didn’t care though – not that night, so when Luthor told him that he wanted me to play somethin’ for his ‘friend’s’ birthday, Frank wasn’t havin’ it and said I’d have to play ‘the damn song’ when I got out of the hospital.

Next thing I know, I’m on the floor, lookin’ up at Luthor, who suddenly wasn’t drunk at all. And, Frank, he’s hangin’ by the collar in the grip of Luthor’s friend. Didn’t know it then, but it was Luthor’s boyfriend. Upside down, he just looked like an outta place kid. Didn’t act like a kid though, at least not with Luthor.

See, lotta people are afraid of Luthor. A lotta people who are older and smarter than this kid had good reason to be.  And, all of ‘em treated Luthor like he was some kind of king or emperor or godfather or some such like he could have their heads chopped of with a flick of his fingers. The kid didn’t though. Nah. He just looked at Luthor and shook his head.

“Lexxx, can’t I leave you alone for even a second?” I swear the kid sounded totally like Luthor’s mom or somethin’, scolding him for wanderin’ off to the toy section or like that.

But, now Luthor, when he answered he sounded completely different, like a real “pro”, if you know what I mean. Hell, his voice… it would have probably given me a hard-on, if I were gay, I mean. Anyway, it sure gave the kid one when Luthor just laughed this husky laugh like women on those phone sex lines have and said, “I thought you’d know it by now, Clark, I’ll do anything to see you in action.”

And, man, there was no doubt what kind of action he meant.  The kid lit up like a neon sign at happy hour… and, well, let’s just say that laying on the floor lookin’ up at the two of them, it was hard to miss their ‘other’ reactions. Sheesh, I don’t think they noticed Frank and I again for like another five or ten minutes. By that time, Frank had cooled down and wanted nothing to do with a kid who could pick him up like he was a bag of groceries, and I just hung around ‘em until it was clear to Frank that he’d have to get around to me later. As it turned out though, after things quieted down, Luthor got with the boss and had him move Frank to another bar that night so, I came out of it scott free. And, that was the last I saw of them, Luthor an’ his friend for maybe six or seven years… at least in real life, but I saw a lot of them on TV. Who didn’t ?

It just got to be a habit, like changin’ beers whenever the sharks play a home game. I watched the sharks first trip to the final four around the same time I tuned into the news conference where Luthor told everybody about his “relationship” with the kid. Fordman made the winning touchdown in the first game of the series only about two months before the Luthor asked his boy toy to marry him. Well, I guess he wasn’t a boy toy any more. Anyway, the news came down that the Shark’s were a ‘big league’ team the same day that Luthor announced that he and his … what?... husband? …were both changin’ their last names to Luther-Kent to “represent a true partnership” or something like that. Kind of sappy if you ask me, but from the looks of the Kent half of Luthor-Kent, he looks like he probably likes sappy stuff and chick flicks.

Anyway, I think the last time I saw anythin’ about them was maybe six, maybe seven months ago, in this rag magazine that was sayin’ that they broke up. Don’t think anybody put much stock into it, though, cause Kent’s this ‘investigating reporter’ and before they came out, he’d done a bunch of undercover stories, so it only makes sense that he might not be around all that often. When I first saw him here, hangin’ round the back door, tryin’ to get any job he could, I thought for sure that he was tryin’ to write a story up on us. I mean why else would he be here?

But, after a month or so, it kind of made me start to wonder, I mean, by that time, mind you – I don’t know how long these guys take to write their stories- but after two months with nothin’ comin’ out in the papers and him not askin’ any of us questions of any sort. Well, I just sort of started watchin’ him.

Seemed mighty sad to me, most of the time, well… sad, sadder, and kind of angry-sad. When he wasn’t up on stage strippin’, and who’d think a guy so quiet and sad would pick a guy who dresses up as like a comic book cartoon to do as his act, anyway… (I mean most of the other guys stick to the YMCA range, you know: cowboys, police officers, firemen, Indians, and the sort. Can’t say as I blame him though, cause even I can see how that suit probably adds another hundred or so to his tips – on a slow night. Anyway, like I was sayin’, when he wasn’t on stage, he had three moods, and those were them. Sad. Sadder. And, angry sad.

So, it seemed to me like maybe the spectator had something right for once. But, I remembered how they looked at each other, that night when they were standin’ over me, and it seemed like it was just wrong for them not to be together… So, I called him. The Luthor half of Luthor-Kent, I mean.

Not that that was easy doin’ either. Well, you try telling your boss that you want him to give you the number of his best customer. Okay, so maybe Luthor hadn’t been in for a month of Sundays, but when he had been comin’ in—he dropped a lotta money. And not just on his drinks -  either – everyone  here loved seein’ Luthor pull in- waiters, dancers, d.j.’s, bouncers… all of us. More ‘n once, I’d have gone home with nothin’ before he came in, but afterward left with enough to pick up a couple a t’bones on the way home and not worry about it comin’ out of the rent money.

Still, it’s not like the boss didn’t have reasons for not givin’ me Luthor’s number. He did. Not the least of which was that the man has about as many stalkers as he has bank accounts… that, and truth be told, I’m more ‘n half sure that the boss was makin’ a pretty penny off of Kent’s hero-act.

Cause, like I was sayin’ that suit… well, people definitely like Kent in that suit. I think it probably gave ‘em a dirty thrill at thinkin’ about what the real-thing must look like under his suit.

So, the boss wasn’t any too happy with me askin’ for the number and it was beginning to look like I was gonna need to just work my way through the entire Luthorcorp/Lexcorp phone chain – hopin’ that I got through to his janitor by the end of the year. As it turned out though, the boss changed his mind pretty quick after Kent got all pissy when he offered Kent another few nights if he would gear up like Batman in black leather for those shows. Shit, thought the kid was gonna go ballistic, but he just sort of got antsy and started rubbin’ his head like it was killin’ him, then just shut down with this scary ice-cold look and told the boss “no”. Just “no” but the look on his face and the way he said it; well, I’m pretty sure the boss started lookin’ for another dancer to do both bits right then. And, as soon as he left the bar, the boss grabbed one of the drink napkins and scribbled out Luthor’s number, then like it was an afterthought, he grabbed it back, scratched out the number to write a new one, grabbed a poster off the cigarette machine, told me to fax it.

Pretty smart if you ask me. No tellin’ how many people he’s got callin’ him a day, but what’s it they say… a picture says a million words… or somthin’. Anyway, like I was sayin’, I faxed Luthor this poster the boss had done to pull people into the club from outside, and before I could finish the sound check for the night… Bam. There he was, walkin’ into the club. I don’t think I even wanna know how many red lights he ran getting there. It couldn’t have taken more ‘n eight or nine minutes at most.

I thought he was gonna go on over to the boss and start quizzin’ him about where Kent was, but he didn’t. Just sort of, I don’t know… I wouldn’t really call it walkin’ more like slidin’ or glidin’ or whatever you call it when those big forest cats move through the woods almost without bein’ seen… on those nature shows. Don’t really know what you’d call it, but anyway, he just sort of walked through the shadows, sort of like he was absorbin’ them… no, more like they were absorbin’ him, cause by the time he sat down ‘n a booth by the wall, I couldn’t see him.

An, he stayed that way through the whole show, watchin’ Kent’s first bit, then his second, not movin’, or sayin’ anythin’ until the last bit when Kent came out in the costume. I’d just started the song he danced to, “Holdin’ out for a hero,” when I saw him lean forward – lookin’ almost whiter than the wall. I don’t know what he said, it sure wasn’t loud or anything, but still Kent heard it. All the way up on the stage, he heard it and just froze there. At first it wasn’t too noticeable cause they were in the part of the dance where they sprayed him with water like he was takin’ a shower or somethin’ and he holds still for three or four beats before he shakes off and starts dancin’. But, I’d watched him enough and knew how long the tracks are (part of my job you know) that I could see that he wasn’t even getting ready to go into the next steps. He was freakin out. They couldn’t see it yet, but I could.

Well, like I was sayin’, Luthor was leanin’ our over the table just starin’ at Kent and Kent was just standin’, there frozen in shock and people were startin’ to notice… so, I, well, I felt like I owed them so I shorted the board out. There was this loose connection on the control board that if you wiggled it; well, it blew a circuit, and I told everybody that there were just a few technical difficulties that it would take only a few minutes to fix.

I wish I could have heard what they said to each other. But, by the time I got back from resetting the breaker, they were gone. I think I did the right thing, though. I haven’t seen the Luthor-Kents lately, except on the tube when they were interviewed about their recent separation and reunion… just to set the record straight – they said. If you ask me though, I think it was just to shut the spectator up so that the rag wouldn’t go snoopin’ around after what Kent had been doin’.

You know what I really loved though, I almost choked when he said it, too. But, the anchorwoman, Lane or something like that brought up a question about some ultimatum or other that Luthor must have given Kent before their split after Luthor got caught suckin’ face with another guy… probably everyone had thought that anyway. I mean there can’t be anyone drinkin’ age or older who doesn’t know that Luthor was a real player when he was younger.

Anyway, Luthor’s got some balls ‘cause he admitted that after he got caught he’d actually told Kent that if he left he couldn’t come back. Man, Lane really pinned him down on the that… until Kent stood up to her when Luthor wasn’t saying that even though Luthor never – never- backed down to anyone, he had for him and even came to get him even though he’d walked out without telling Luthor where he had been to be for months. Now, that wasn’t what made me laugh, though I was a bit tickled to figure out that I had known where Kent was all along.  That wasn’t it though.

No, what made me laugh so hard I just about choked on my rum and coke was Luthor turnin’ to Kent that of course he’d come and get him… that he’d “do anything to see him in action”  usin’ that same voice that he had in the bar, that night. And, Kent, he fuckin blushed. After spendin’ a couple of months here strippin’ for money, he blushed just from Luthor’s voice. Course, so did Lane, and that must’a’been a first.

Well, anyway, as I was sayin’ I don’t think it’s too much of a story, but if you’d like to use any of it be my guest.

After a moment of studying the DJ seriously, Chloe snapped her tape recorder off, paid her tab, and turned back to the man.

“You’re probably right, the magazine I work for tends to want something more sensational. But, thank you, I’ve really enjoyed hearing it and will let you know if they do decide to print it . Thanks again.”

Realizing that he’d lost his audience, the DJ pleasantly waved her off and looked around for another eager to hear his story.

As soon as she reached the hallway, Chloe called pulled out her cell and quick-dialed her friends.

“Hey, Lex, no need to worry, he hasn’t made any connections.”  With a satisfied snap, Chloe closed her phone and pushed it into her purse between the two rolls of posters and flyers that she had stripped from the clubs walls, cigarette machines, and men's room.

Lex had wanted to make certain that there weren't any other images of Clark's three embodiments floating around ‘out there’, but Chloe doubted that he'd mind too much if she kept one for herself... particularly if he didn't know.

End