1. Just
fyi, Clark and Lex ARE NOT WOMEN. They don't flame, don't wear matching fuzzy
pink sweater sets and they don't (for Christ's sake) call each other muffin or
cupcake or honeybunchesofoats, DAMMIT! This is NOT hard, this is SIMPLE. If
you're going to write that shit, at least put an AU label on it, mmmkay? Thank
you.-Alax
"Snickerdoodle!" Lex burst into the Talon, cheeks pink and eyes
tearing, and rushed over to his supertwink. "I just saw these darling
shoes at Mabel's Shoe Emporium and Bait Shop, but they don't have my size! Do
something!"
"Lollipop, googlimooglibuns, what would you have me do?" Clark said,
hugging his sniffling sweet to his manly chest, frowning at the thought of snot
soiling his plush pink sweater set with the fluffy trim that made Lexypoop
giggle when he used it to tickle his passionfruit under the chin.
"Burn the store with your eyegasms! Rip all the not-my-size shoes into
tiny little pieces we can use as confetti at the next Gay Pride parade! X-ray
the back room to see if Mabel's hiding the shoes from me, because you know she
does, that meanie." Lex pouted prettily, and sniffled, and got snot on
Clark's sweater.
"Lambchop, porkrind, honeybraisedribloin," Clark soothed, "you
know I can't do that. And Mabel doesn't hide the shoes from you."
"Yes, she does." Sullen pout.
"Here, I'll go have a talk with her, does that sound okay?" Clark
asked softly.
"Maybe."
Clark tickled his chickenpock under the chin with sweaterfluff.
"Maybe?"
Lex giggled and batted his hands at Clark. "Okay."
Clark kissed his cheezedoodle on the tip of the nose and stood. He straightened
his sweater set, huffed at the snot on his shoulder, but did not chastise
Lexaliscious. Reaching out, he buttoned the top button on his baldybear's
matching pink sweater set, twined his fingers with his urinalcake's fingers,
called "Bye-bye!" to Lana, and hands swinging, left the Talon to do
battle with Mabel.
Clark wondered if there were any darling shoes on sale in his size.
End